The Real World

We left Lawrence, KS mid-morning in order to make it to Springfield, Missouri by early afternoon. Tonight, we are staying with my Aunt Connie, my mom’s oldest sister. She and my Uncle Jon have lived in Springfield for 15 years.

We arrived in time for lunch and were welcomed by the smell of homemade pot pie. After lunch (and homemade dessert too!) our excursion into Springfield began. We started with a tour of the Pythian Castle. This place must be one of Missouri’s best kept secrets because I was surprised I had never heard of it. Built in 1913, by the Knights of Pythias, it first served as a meeting hall and orphanage for the children whose fathers were knights and had passed away. It was later bought by the US military and served as a POW camp for Japanese, German, and Italian soldiers. It is now privately owned, and tours are led at 11:00 and 2:00, six days a week. The tour takes you through the lowest point in the basement to the highest point of the castle and all floors in between. It includes the ballroom, a theater, and this time of year is decorated for Halloween.

After our time at the castle, we were given the driving tour of the old downtown and the new downtown of Springfield with a quick stop at “Hurts Donuts.” (Do you want a hurts donut? *smacks you as hard as I can* Hurts don’t it?) We also made a brief pitstop at the world’s largest fork. This stainless steel eating utensil stands 35 feet tall and is the home of The Food Channel.

This evening we visited the “Granddaddy” of Bass Pros as my Uncle Jon calls it, as it was the first of it’s kind and is also the largest. It contains an aquarium and a restaurant named “Hemingway’s” where we all enjoyed the best seafood buffet I have ever had…I mean, it’s the only seafood buffet I have ever eaten but I imagine it is hard to beat. I recommend the Thai Chili Salmon and of course, the mac and cheese.

Tonight is the last night of my trip and tomorrow I return home. In less that 24 hours I’ll be pulling into my driveway, unpacking my car, and sorting through my souvenirs. I’ll strategically place all my magnets on my refrigerator and with each one I’ll recall a memory, most of which belong only to me. I’ll start to sort through my laundry, put my toiletries back into the cabinet, and place my backpack into the closet where it will patiently await my next adventure. It’s always at that point where I start to shift back into what I’m sure we have all referred to as, “the real world.”

The real world.

For many of us that means work and routine and daily life like paying bills and mowing the yard. It means any time we spend away from these things is somehow a dream or a fantasy life. But what if

it is all the real world? I refuse to accept that these last three weeks have been nothing more than a mirage…a temporary life I’ve somehow conjured out of thin air to pass the time before I go back to my job. Instead, I choose to believe, I can in fact have it all. I want my quiet neighborhood with my house on the dead-end street and my Friday night routine of eating pizza with my nephews. I want breakfast dates and wine nights with my friends. I want to stop by my parents for a visit because I haven’t been there in a while and I want Sunday evenings with my sister watching The Walking Dead. I want to feel the quietness of my home after a stressful day at work and to watch the seasons change from the couch in my living room. I want the boring…the mundane…the ordinary. But I also want more.

I want the adrenaline of seeing bison in the wild. I want to touch the freezing cold water of the creek while panning for gold. I want to eat mac and cheese in nearly every state but also try new foods. I want to tour old houses and castles and museums and drive through national parks. I want to watch the snowfall in South Dakota from the warmth of a hotel bed while eating pizza and watching true crime TV. I want to master the public transportation of a new city, eat crummy Mexican food with a friend I haven’t seen in 18 years, and wait ninety minutes to watch Old Faithful erupt. I want to visit with relatives, see their city through their eyes, then crash their dinner tables and spare bedrooms. I want to travel the furthest I’ve ever been from home alone and call my mom to tell her about it. I want to get angry at the base of Mt. Rushmore, feel at peace in the mountains, get anxious when I hit poles in Montana, and fall in love with Wyoming.

But do you know what I want more than anything. I want a life in which My Anxiety doesn’t control me. I want to be brave enough to travel alone. I want to honor my great grandma, never forget a friend who has passed, and make my parents proud. I want to heal and love and forgive even when all those things seem entirely too hard. And when I get hit by a truck on a random Monday afternoon, I want to learn to walk again…and then drive again…and then eventually be on my own again. I want to be the girl who lived but more importantly, I want to be the girl who lived her life…a life where some days are ordinary, and some days are extraordinary, but every day is real.